Today, I saw a lady walking along our sidewalk with a cane. I watched her slow, careful steps, and the determined concentration was visible on her face.

Could I ever relate to that! I have a disability and I used to walk with a cane, also. Sometimes it was painful for me to walk, other times emotionally frustrating. I got so impatient with my slow, careful steps! And I STILL get impatient when I have to think about my every move!

Especially during these times, I have to be careful not to allow my focus to shift back onto things I could physically do when I was healthy. I loved to play racquetball and go hiking. I rode bicycle, and horses, and played with my niece in the park. I did power walking and aerobics for exercise.

These days, I can still exercise. I can work on stretches, but my aerobics are now spiritual rather than physical. My "step up's" are truly stepping UP - in a heavenly direction!

I can exercise with the assurance that someday I will be completely healed - whether I find that healing here on earth, or when I run to greet my Jesus in heaven.

"...the Lord Jesus Christ, who by the power that enables Him to bring everything under His control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like His glorious body." Philippians 3:20,21

Many people don’t like the wind. “It messes up my hair.” “It blows dirt in my eyes.” Many people don’t like it, but I love the wind!

Breezes coax beautiful music from my wind chimes. Birds simply hold out their wings and soar on currents, and I imagine what it feels like to fly. Wind brings bits of the world to me as it pelts raindrops from the mountain against my window, or fills my home with fresh scents of springtime, or even as it shares with me the aroma of a neighbor’s breakfast bacon.

But the wind is unpredictable. I never really know from where it came, how strong it’s going to be, how long it will last. I don’t worry about it, nor spend time trying to foretell its direction, destination and results. I only sit back and enjoy it.

I am reminded that the Holy Spirit, in His sovereignty, is a lot like the wind. He works as He pleases with results I can’t predict, in ways I don’t understand. Sometimes He is a gentle breeze, sometimes a mountain storm. And with Him, my soul can soar higher than those birds in the air.

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit. John 3:8

Gifts Outside My Window

Because of a disability (MS), I hadn’t been getting outside very often, and was feeling a little “house bound.” But our Father God loves us so much, and He must have noticed my frustration and sadness. Being a personal God, He met my needs and answered my prayers in His own special way ….

Each day, He takes a moment to send me a special gift — one that I can receive simply by looking out my window. Sometimes it’s as obvious as a magnificent rainbow in the sky. Other times I find that I have to wait for His gift, or look for it like I’m searching in a treasure hunt. But it’s always there, and as wondrous as the one He gave me just the day before!

I wanted to share of His goodness with others so I wrote about some of His gifts to me. All of God’s “Window Gifts” have touched my heart and spirit in different ways. He has given me fresh insight and an understanding that I never would have known if not for this window and my illness.

There is a popular inspirational saying which is very true, and characteristic of my circumstances — “When God closes a door, He opens a window.” He opens my window daily to some pretty special blessings.

(All Scripture references are from the New International Version of the Bible.)

From my window, I saw the U.S. Postal Service truck as it was driving up the road, pausing at mail boxes. It was Valentine’s Day, and I wondered what wonderful cards and letters of love that mail carrier was delivering. I smiled to think of happy recipients who opened their mail to confirmations of someone’s heartfelt devotion.

The prophets and apostles also wrote all kinds of love letters. Moses told the people that God wanted them to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Lev. 19:18) and to “love the Lord.” (Deut. 6:5) David wrote psalms of love. It was possibly Solomon who wrote an entire book about love. Apostles like Paul and Peter sent love letters to people throughout the Middle East and parts of Europe.

Jesus, the Author of Love, had much to say on the subject. And He, alone, offered the supreme Love Gift when He gave up His life, hung on a cross for peoples in all places and all times. Because of His sacrificial Love, we know that Someone loves us on Valentine’s Day, and on every day of the year.

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 3:16

My Tears Blind Me

My tears blind me

and I fall at Your feet again.

Abba, please pick me up

and hold me close.

I brought this on myself,

I know.

My focus shifted

and I allowed my eyes

to seek and go after sin.

Oh, You could have stopped me,

but You love me too much to do that.

A Gentleman, You never come

uninvited

no matter how much I need rescuing.

So, I acknowledge my sin.

I repent of my sin.

Now I reap consequences

of that sin.

Now I hurt.

Now there is so much pain.

Like a prodigal

I ask for Your undeserved forgiveness

and mercy.

Father, I am sorry

that I turned away from You.

I never want to turn away

from Your love

again.

Why, O Lord?

I know You are in control
of all things ...
and of me ....

I know You have a perfect plan,
that You love and protect
Your sons and daughters.

I know this world is not my home,
it is but a breath of starlight
in the face of eternity.

But, Lord,
why can't I walk?
I know I will in heaven ...
but this is Here.
This is Now.
What could You possibly be teaching
through this power chair?

Lord,
why does this disease
have to plague my body
with unrelenting fatigue?
What can You be showing me
when I'm weak as a kitten?

Lord,
why is my brain
sometimes filled with confusion and clouds
that alter my thoughts
and emotions?
Why do I feel anger
over trivial things,
and cry when tears
are not necessary,
and laugh at the wrong time?
What could You have for me to learn
when I'm not even able
to properly process these concepts?

Lord,
why can't I remember things?
Oh, I can remember the camping trip
when I was seven years old,
but I can't remember
to pay bills,
what I came into this room for,
what day this is,
did I talk on the phone with this person?
What truth can be revealed
through this?

Ah, Lord God ...

It hurts my head.

People - friends and family -
don't understand.
They get angry and frustrated
at me. With me.
They don't believe me.
I don't "look" sick.
At times,
I feel that they don't love me
anymore.

But, then there are times
when You change all that ...
when someone tries to understand,
when someone believes,
when a friend weeps with me,
when someone offers help.

You're always with me,
Here and Now,
and I remember Your promise:
that I'll never be alone.

Thank You for not forsaking me,
that You don't push me aside
for someone "better."
I praise You that You knew me,
that You chose me,
before I was ever born ...
that You knew these things
would happen to me
and You loved me anyway!

Maybe that's one of the things
You want me to learn.
You don't love as the world loves.
Your love goes deeper,
is richer, holy and pure.
Your love sees the goodness,
Your love lasts forever!
I praise You for loving me!
And, Lord God, I love You too!

~ Pandora Deichert

WW for Woody Woodpecker ... MS for ....!

Nearby, a woodpecker laughs.

Evidence of his unwelcome visit is shown by the aftermath.

Much like MS.

A JOURNEY WITH MS

I trip

down a corridor darkly

wall-walking the length
and breadth and height
my fingers reach
(when feeling out of sight)

afraid for tomorrow
but searching for
the rest of my life

I may stumble
I may fall
but never will I stop

-- Pandora Deichert